Drums
Bert the Badger
The band's reluctant voice of reason and the only member who regularly reads the small print.
Dry, cynical and blessed with a spectacularly low tolerance for bullshit, Bert provides the musical backbone while Fred provides the ego and Stan provides most of the problems.
His musical tastes are as uncompromising as his personality. A lifelong admirer of The Specials, Bert grew up obsessed with the irresistible rhythms of ska and 2 Tone, the attitude of punk and the groove of old-school hip-hop. The Sex Pistols, Roots Manuva, Jurassic 5 and Ugly Duckling all feature heavily in his record collection.
Add in the electronic textures of Maribou State, the swagger of Audio Bullys and the genre-defying brilliance of Gorillaz, and you begin to understand why Bert believes a great drumbeat can say more than most singers manage in an entire album. Particularly Fred.
Bert also claims to be descended from the distinguished Badger in The Wind in the Willows, a connection he considers evidence of impeccable breeding and considerable social standing. Stan has repeatedly pointed out that his famous relative is fictional. Bert has repeatedly pointed out that Stan is a fucking idiot.
Despite his permanently unimpressed expression, Bert is fiercely loyal to KAiOS. He believes in the songs, the music and the band's refusal to conform to whatever nonsense the industry happens to be selling this week.
He just wishes rehearsals involved slightly more rehearsing and slightly less arguing about whose turn it is to buy biscuits.
The music industry's full of people who can't play instruments telling people who can how to make music. Seems perfectly reasonable.
